marauderprincess | Scawwy: Geto Suguru

[ They're walking!

Anyway, he just has to get this out. ]

If there's ever a time to be selfish, it's now.

[ She's trying to keep her emotions strong, but that gets it to waver. ]

I'm already being selfish with killing myself. [ Especially with the curio thing as Todomatsu pointed out ] I'm afraid if I'm even more selfish, I might not be able to go through with it.

You'll go through with it, because you're honourable and you want to do what's best for others.

[ He says it softly, and with full conviction. ]

We've all had so little choice in what happens to us since we got here, and been so powerless. If there's any control you can seize for yourself, Anis, you should do it.

It's what I would do.

[ She feels her breath catch at that. Anis has been trying to keep everything in check, but the way he said that...

She can't help but feel an ache. ]

I suppose that is true. I don't want anyone else to go through this. [ Even if there is mercy in dying, death is still hard. ]

I did think about asking someone because Todomatsu is right. It would be useful for you all to have something from the curious. However, I don't think there's anyone I'd feel good asking that.

[ Okay, let's pick it apart. ]

Why wouldn't you feel good asking anyone?

Even if Todomatsu did offer, he hasn't killed anyone before. He always preferred someone else to do it when the house was planning to take out someone.

I think Asa-chan has killed enough people and it would make her sad.

Lavi would do it, but he would feel guilty about it afterwards. He was the one that brought me the house in the first place and may feel like he has to take care of me.

Satoru seems like he might be okay with it, but I do think it might make him sad. [ He's a big baby! ]

... I think you're being a little generous with Satoru.

[ He can be a baby but. ]

And me?

You think he would be fine with it?

[ What goes on in the Satoru brain ]

I couldn't ever ask that of you, Suguru.

[ He's a cryptid impossible to understand. ]

Then don't think of it as asking, but of me offering.

[ ... ]

Do you remember what I said about the people I like? How I want to take care of them or make them smile?

[ Tilts his head, brows furrowing. ]

Yeah, I remember.

Just as I want to make you smile, I also don't want to be the reason for you to be sad or feel the way you did after Mathis.

[ He hesitates a moment and then settles a hand on her crown. ]

I was sad because I had to part with a friend, but glad that I could at least help him go the way that he wanted.

You're not the only one that wants to take care of the people you care about.

[ She will reach up to place her hand over his ]

Is this what you want to do, Suguru?

[ He smiles a little. ]

Are you only going to be content if you're supporting what someone else wants?

I would be content if we could skip this entirely and go beat up the cult.

[ Her shoulders sag at that and she steps closer. ]

I think I want to be with everyone until the very end. [ even if they will have to see her take her last breath, she does want to be with them all. ]

I also want to take in consideration what everyone else wants. So tell me what is it that you want, Suguru? Would you prefer Todomatsu to do it?

[ Ah, guilt. Regret. Remorse... He wishes that she didn't have to do this against her will. ]

I think taking your own life is the hardest path you could choose. [ To feel like there is no one to rely on, and have to harm yourself in that way... ] So I'd rather you have one of us do it.

I'm not going to presume that it'll be easier if it's me or Matsuno-san, or whoever. But if you're hesitating out of consideration for me, then you don't need to. I think Satoru or I would be able to handle it the best out of us.

[ Or Mumu, he guesses. ]

[ Oh... She is going to close the space between them to wrap her arms around him. Her own emotions are a mixture of sad, guilt, and achy.

In the end, she did ask for this and she will see it through. ]

It's that but I'm also hesitating out of consideration for me, Suguru. [ Imagine being stabbed by the guy you like ] I could ask Satoru.

[ Or Mumu getting to stab someone as a treat but the mods have stuff to prep for ]

[ He'll return the hug, though he still feels guilty that she is trying to comfort him when it should be the other way around...

He can understand that though. ]

If you're okay with it, there's no one I'd trust more.

[ To both end his life, or the life of someone he cares about. ]

[ He shouldn't feel guilty about this, because that's how she is. She wants to comfort and make everyone else feel better!

There's a blip of warmth from her with hug though as she gives him a squeeze ]

Yeah, I'm okay with it.

[ Gives her a squeeze in return. ]

Okay. As long as you're okay.

Can we stay like this for a while?

[ They can get back to the others eventually... but right now she wants to make this moment last longer ]

Yeah, as long as you want.

[ Fond... He'll be here for her as best as he can. ]

[ She's very fond right back. ]

You know, you're the best hugger here.

Really? [ he's so not physically affectionate... ] You never hugged Karlach?

Scawwy: Geto Suguru

week 7, thursday

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cw: suicide discussion

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